Starting all over again

Fortunately, I found beauty where I moved. It's a balm on my heart.

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​Here's a reflection on my most recent move across many states, in the middle of a pandemic, when my oldest stayed behind to finish University, and when my baby flew off the nest to go to University in another country. 

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It’s a choice I made: moving away from many beloveds friends
and a magical healing place.
Can’t really complain.
But I can feel the feels.
The heartbreaks of all the losses.
The anger that the vision I had of what my life would be can’t be...
at least not anytime soon.
The fears and worries because my daughters are on their own and
I have little access to them.

I saw that coming. It’s here now. Very different in reality.
The anxiety of having to find a doctor/dentist/mechanic/chiropractor/.../ that are in alignment or at least respectful of my values and principles.
The frustration of not feeling excited by our new town.

AND

It’s a choice I made.
Means I can make choices.
Which one will I make today?
See with new eyes? Be curious and wonder?
Dare to dream again? New dreams? Dreams I’ve never dream before?
Reinvent myself again? Who am I? Who do I want to be?
What am I committing to cause and create?

A choice I don’t have is that I bring myself everywhere I go.
Fortunately
I’m resilient.
I’m hopeful.
I don’t give up.
I’m a dreamer. A visionary.
I’m a creator. I’m an intentional creator. I’m a powerful intentional creator!
I’m a freaking powerful intentional creator!

I mourn.
I appreciate.
I love.

That’s what starting all over again is for me this time.