My journey to the Divine Feminine

What does the Divine Feminine mean to you?  How does your body react when you hear those words?  Are you afraid that it goes against your religious beliefs?  Are you offended or curious? Did you grow up  aware of this Entity?  

I personally grew up Catholic and already at a young age, I was asking a lot of questions.  In Quebec, the Church had a huge control over how people thought and behaved. Many people got hurt by the Church.  When I left my parent’s home at 17, I stopped going to church and turned my back on what it represented which was negative to me. I didn’t like that it is a male-controlled organization where women have to be obedient; are seen as less than; and where I couldn’t ask questions.     

It’s only been 3 or 4 years ago that I heard about the Divine Feminine.  The first time I heard these two words together, I exhaled, saying, “Oh yes!” Since then, I have been exploring what is the Divine Feminine and wondering about Her meaning for me.  How does She work differently than the Male figure of God that I grew up with?  Are the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine separate?  There are so many Goddesses in different religions, what is the  image of the Divine Feminine that I relate to?

As I have been reflecting on my experiences of the Divine Feminine, I started to remember how my grandparents loved Mother Mary.  As a child, I would go spend my vacations with them and they would pray to Her each time we would get in the car.  We would pray to her at night before going to bed.  Mother Mary was very present in my life when I was with my grandparents.  My grandmother is a wonderful storyteller. She told wonderful stories about Mother Mary and I was mesmerized and fascinated.  Unfortunately, it didn't develop into a relationship with the Mother for me as I was too caught up in my anger towards what the Catholic Church represented for me. 

When I became a mother, my grandmother gave me a picture of Mother Mary holding baby Jesus.  I put it away and hid it for many years.  When I started to paint, I found it again. It was on good canvas, so I have to admit that I almost painted over it but for some reasons I didn't.  When we moved into our new home in April 2014, I discovered again this hidden gift from my grandmother and this time, I put it up on my altar that I have in my studio.  

I am now so glad that I didn't paint over it. Mother Mary is so loving toward me even after I ignored her and hid her away for so many years.  To me, she represents some of the qualities of the Divine Feminine: faith, compassion, unconditional love, openness, and intuition.  I am still on this path of exploration and healing.  Healing my relationship with FatherGod and MotherGod or the Divine Masculine and Feminine.  Even putting words on these beliefs is a struggle (and it’s not about English being my second language).  

I am now seeing that my grandmother is connected to the Divine Feminine even if she wouldn't say it that way.  I also remember her talking about her mom's love for Mary so I am in this line of love.  I don't know how to explain everything that is going on in my heart but a dam just broke up inside and I can just feel the compassionate and unconditional love of Mother Mary for me and the love that my grandmother has and greatmother had for Mother Mary. So powerful!!! 

I would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, experiences around this.  If you desire to explore more in a creative way, check our retreat coming up in November 2015.  

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